"I think its because she is a bitch!" + Happy Holidays

So yesterday, right.

I hung out with a lot of people that I haven't seen for a really long time.

I miss the feeling of having friends in my life, although I know really well that they are not what I need at this moment.

I had a really good time, I got to see 3||3, who I didn't think I would.

And she got to see somebody that I thought was going to be adult about the whole thing, but apparently they have a problem in doing so.

You don't tell other people things that they are obviously going to tell me, about me.

I win. ftw.

I love life right now I guess, despite the fact that I am currently unemployed and I am at a loss of money.

I need $

last night ended on a good note, i suppose.

I was just told one thing then it just turned into something else.

maybe if i just got a hey, this is what is up.

want to join?

'oh, ok.'

that is what would have been said.

I was whooping ass on rock band and I 'kneed the shit out of' S*****'s phone and we went on adventure to get it repaired.

It actually seemed TOO easy.

the lady that gave us the replacement thought that it was hilarious.

The holidays are closing in on us.

I'm starting to find that my Dad is really one of my best friends. besides S***** and 3||3

I spend the whole day with him now and we talk about a lot.

Its surprising considering how our relationship was before I left for SB.

I think he respects the fact that I'm trying so hard to keep my shit together.

life is good.

Christmas Cometh.

Dear God,
It's me, MTNastylove. Happy Holidays.

Home is Where I am is?

Goodbye to you SB.

Today, I woke up in Union City, CA.

This is a weird feeling for me

mostly because for the past four months in my life, I've woken up in Santa Barbara, CA.

I can't say that I won't miss Santa Barbara,

but It's damn good to be home.

Life will start here for me once again in a whole new way.

I've left behind a lot of good people in SB that I'd like to make notice of.

For those who've been my friends there,

I thank you.

There was a time where I thought that maybe I'd be alone in SB for a long time, but then friendship shone a light on what could be.

It was good, and thanks for the memories.

So, what now?

Nothing is changed really besides the scenery.

I'm back with my family and those that I love.

The world looks so much bigger from my perspective.

Endless possibilities.

I'll finally have time to finish my book.

btw, 12 yagerbombs: not sucha good idea, EVER!

Dear God,
It's me, MTNastylove.

Fuck you Draco, you bitchass nigga! #too little to bother.

I have problems, everyone has problems, but I don't go hypocritically imposing my opinions onto others.

If this is you, and you do this, this here at which i just referenced and explained; fuck you!

I don't care what you think, but your life sucks and you have no right trying to tell me whats what.

I hold back out of respect for you personally and for a very special someone.

you made me angry, and truth is i'll probably be over it by tomorrow, and this isn't even as significant event to you as it is to me, but just that you are really that stupid not to be considerate of what you're saying:

fuck you for the time being.

Dear God,
It's me, MTNastylove.

Blowin' O's for Oscar.

Tonight, I witnessed the demise of my childhood hero.

He went with the old, only to discover the new.

The first time I remember him losing was ten years ago.

I cried then. I won't now.

Oscar De La Hoya. My childhood hero.

Ten years is a lot of growing.

I can tell that I've done a lot of growing based on my reaction of the whole situation.

You can't win them all, as I know now.

As back then I thought he could, and that I could.

Tonight I know for certain that you can't win them all, but damnit,

you can try.

Good luck to you Oscar De La Hoya.

You can still wipe your ass with hundred dollar bills.

Thanks for the hope.

Dear God,
It's me, MTNastylove.

I hope not, breh 9.

So we're coming to the end of my first semester of college.

How does it feel you ask?

Well, first of all, thanks for asking, btw.

And Secondly, it feels great.

I'm that much closer to a career.

I need one so badly, i have to get out of this hell called schooling.

I almost can't tell the difference between high school and college.

It almost makes college seem somewhat unnecessary.

Why not just give me the high school/college degree in a sweet little bundle package?

It would save everyone a lot of time and money, no?

Another thing. I'm not fit for college. Not everyone is.

This brings me to my next point; why make life harder to achieve at if you only have a high school diploma? I think that it is bullshit.

I guarantee you that I will not be retaining most of this information that I have picked up in college three years from now when i am becoming a teacher.

Enough to teach of course, but you get my point.

Oh well, that's society for you.

Something else that bothers me,

the feeling of forever and not all the way.

trust is a big issue for me and if i don't feel trusted, i feel hurt.

this is probably very confusing for you out of the context of my own mind, but TRUST me, it makes plenty of sense to me.

and as always:

Dear God,
It's me, MTNastylove.

An MTNasty Thanksgiving! Good Grief! 17. and then 13.

Oh hey,

I almost didn't see you come in -_-

So this morning, after 3-4hrs of sleep I had to wake up at 6 for an 8am class

After that one hour hell, I come back to the apt and take a three hour nap.

I'm really tired and not in the best mood.

I believe school to be the source of this once again. I hate it.

I have another class at 6, and I'm not too excited to go, but I will.

This is the last monday class and class number two of four for the week?

halfway there. -_-

I can't wait until Thanksgiving.

---------------------------------------------

I never got a chance to finish that post, but it seemed like i was in a really bad mood.

Thanksgiving really was great.

I rode home with S***** the night before.

I can honestly say that even more than SB itself, I will miss S*****.

What a good friend.

I'm thankful for a friend like him, among others. Most of all I'm thankful for my family.

They stay being there for me.

I guess its not too bad to have my health as well.

In the rest of the 08 calendar year I'd like to wish the best to everyone and those who they love.

This year has been a good one.

I know we're still a ways off of the new year, but I've come to start realizing how fast time moves, and how ever hard we try to play tug-of-war with it, we always fall short.

All hail to time.

Whether it is moving too fast or I'm just growing up, it isn't something that should be taken for granted.

Spend any time you have being with those you want to be with.

Don't let time slip away.

Love those that Love you.

I love everyone.

Love.

Dear God,
It's me, MTNastylove.

There is No Place like Yo' Place! 20.

So, I'm home.

I'll be home next week too.

And then I'll be home two weeks after that for the last time ever.

I don't mean in terms of actually being at home, but rather, ever having to go home again.

From SB.

I'll be leaving SB forever.

I'll be leaving the memories of it behind me and looking forward to what lies ahead.

Don't get me wrong, I love SB, but there is something deep within me that says I have done all that I set out to do by going there.

I will miss my new SB friends and the beautiful pacific coast, but there will never be anything like eating dinner with a family that I love and sleeping in a bed of my own knowing that I can get up the next morning and do exactly what I did the day before and be completely content with it.

School is closing in on me, however.

I wish that I could flash forward three and a half years and be done with it all and start my career as the best english teacher ever.

I hold a lot of dreams in this heart heart of mine.

Dreams aren't something to be taken lightly.

They have a way of making you push through all the bullshit when you think that the world is coming to an end.

I recently wanted to throw away all my dreams and then I was informed by a good friend of mine that shall remain ANONYMOUS** that maybe I was being a bit irrational.

Maybe I'm just impatient and even though I feel like I am trying my hardest and its going nowhere, I really am just trying to force that hand of time back to where it came from; the beginning.

the beginning of every tiniest glimpse of any thought process that ever went into any decision that I ever made.

You can't help but think that maybe sometimes you didn't make the right choice.

Don't blame yourself though, I certainly don't blame me for the things that I've decided to do, because if you want answers, there is no other way of getting them unless you go out there and ask questions.

SB was my question.

And I got my answer:

Home is where the heart is, and home is where I'm going.

Dear God,
It's me, MTNastylove.